The Single Question That Can Change Your Destiny

June 5, 2005 on 5:34 pm | In Abundance |

Quo Vadis?

It means: “Where are you going?”, in Latin.

Also a title of a good movie, that made me think of writing this
to you:

Doesn’t it sometimes feel, like you’re always trying to do
something, to say something, to NOT do or say something… in
order to get somewhere?

But where is somewhere?

It certainly has felt like that for most of my life, until it got
to a point where I realized I really didn’t know where I was
going.

By the time I was 19, I was making almost $100,000/year in income,
certainly more than what most 19 year-olds make, at least at the
time. For the longest period of my “success” this was my biggest focus.

I thought, like a lot of teen-ages, that when I finally reached a certain
income, I would be “successful”

Complete. Finished. Fulfilled.

But I wasn’t.

The more money I made, the bigger the gap in my heart became from
where I was and where I thought I needed to be, to FINALLY be
happy.

The more direction I got towards my goals, the longer the moments lasted.
Those moments where you’re working in seeming “passion” and then
the empty feeling suddenly dawns on you.

It dawns you that you have no clue what the hell you’re
doing with your life, even though you’ve fought so hard, for so
long, to prove to yourself and others that you do know where you
are.

But you don’t, you are lost.

I was lost.

The feeling was like a dark hole in my stomach, tugging at my heart,
trying toget it’s attention.

LISTEN TO ME! It was yelling. All day, all night, in my sleep,
and in the shallow and dull dreams of my mind.

But I didn’t listen,… and time passed.

A year later, all of a sudden I finally found myself sitting in
my room again, moving papers around on my desk, deciding,
on a new “goal” - then it came at me again. It hit me like a slap
on the face by a woman in rage.

Here I was now again, married, talking about having kids and a
bigger house with my fiancée, who was to be my wife in just 4
months. Still my heart felt empty. I was a man in my head, but a
child at heart, unable to open.

I sat there staring the wall, thinking, completely empty.

…”What is this feeling I’m after so much? This feeling that
I’m trapped in, that so many other men and women chase their
entire lives?”

This need to complete, achieve, and “prove” something to myself?

The answer came through me, and it is why I’m writing this to you
today,

We’re all going to the same place. To love.

No, not the love between two people, between a person and a cat,
or a mother to a child.

The love that is around you right now, even this very second.

Human beings spend their entire lives chasing love, more often
unconsciously… But that’s what we’re really after.

And the truth is…? There is no goal large enough that you
could attain to get you there. And no deed horrible enough to
stop you from getting there.

Because love is not a mountain to be achieved, or a hell you need
to avoid to get there.

When you find it, it is so obvious, but most of us are blind to
it.

So we chase our goals and find other ways to find love. At least
I did. Deep in my heart I knew there was more, and chasing my
goals was a way to try to get there, because I felt that whatever
I was after I was too far at that moment to touch.

We all feel like love is there, but we believe it’s untouchable
in the present moment.

So we tune out, and box ourselves away from the world
Either by watching the “box”, chasing goals, or a dose of Prozac
twice a day.

Don’t get me wrong.

Goals and direction in life are very important to have, so is
material possession. Material possession and wealth are simply a
reflection of the love and abundance in your heart. It’s chasing
the equation backwards(trying to get to love by filling your life
with lots of “stuff”), that doesn’t work.

And yes, when I turn the ignition on my brand new Ferrari later
this year I will love every second of it.

But that alone will never feel complete, it will never fill the
void in my own, or anyone’s heart.

The feeling of “completion” or “safety” in life is an illusion,
the only thing that will ever get you to the feeling which you’re
truly after, is opening to love.

It’s that feeling of openness and heart-felt surrender that we’re
really after. We have a choice to open to it, and let it bring
everything in our lives to an abundant fruition – OR…

Stuff it down all your life with anger, regret, depression, long
enough that it will kill you with disease.

Only once you truly open your heart, will perusing goals and
achieving them feel fulfilling. Because they’ll be coming from
your heart, not from your head.

And the truth is, You don’t need to go on a quest to find Love.

Be it God, Allah, Jesus, Jehovah, Allah, Buddha, whatever you want
to call Him or Her.

You don’t need to FIND the path to Him or Her.

Why?

Because it’s never been lost.

He/She, has never been lost.

Love has never been lost.

The Truth has never been lost.

It’s right there inside and all around of you, even this moment.

There is no path you can venture on, or goal you can attain that
will get you there.

Devine love is not waiting for you at the finish line, or on top
of a mountain. It’s in every particle around you, tugging at
your heart your entire life. Just waiting to be listened to.

Love, God, and The Universe is everywhere, unraveling and opening
at your feet in every single moment.

So many people complain that they want a message, or some
guidance in life from whatever higher force they believe in.

The funny thing is, he/she/it is talking to you every second.
You just have to soften the endless chatter of your fearful mind,
and listen.

So the next time you find yourself lost in your desire for
completion in life, lost in the feeling of constantly trying to
get somewhere. Ask yourself: “Where am I really going?”

“What am I really trying to feel?”

If you look deep enough, you will find you only want to feel
love, and that you only want to give love.

Close your eyes and realize that even this very second, you are
surrounded by love. Every object around you, every particle is
part of the same stuff you’re made of. Every living thing is
connected to you. We’re one big family.

From that place in your heart, go forward in life, set goals,
make children, and give your heart impeccably to the world.

Never be afraid to give too much, there is no such thing.

Your life here, like mine, is a blink of an eye, a flash of
lightening rolling down the mountain of eternity.

In the end it won’t matter if you changed diapers, or if you
changed the world – only how much love you gave, and how much
love you opened to receive.

Yours to Love and Health,

Kacper

Get Energizing, Shorter Sleep, and Live
Every Day With Maximum Energy And Health!

www.PowerfulSleep.com

18 Comments »

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  1. Thanks Kacper, I’m “struggling” with a decision at present and your article has helped me.

    Looking forward to your blog.

    Marilyn

    Comment by Marilyn — July 9, 2005 #

  2. thank you for that, its refreshing and truely a gifted piece of advise. we all get stuck, unable to see the trees thru the forest so to speak, i look forward to your impresions. thanks

    Comment by vicki — July 9, 2005 #

  3. Dear Kacper, Your story touched my heart. I just feel so deeply every word you said.Just imagine,my heart is ovrflowing with love and is full of sorrow at the same time (right now). I can not express my love freely. Sometimes it feels like paranoia. I just feel and see him all around me and everywhere I look. but in reality I even couldn’t touch him. Waiting so long for true love to evolve, yet holding it in my heart for so long is a couse of my confusion. How can I see where am I going if there is no one to see? And you’re right, LOVE is the only thing that matters…

    Comment by Dorothy B — July 10, 2005 #

  4. Hi Kacper - What a lovely article. I agree 100%.

    When my grandmother died I wrote her eulogy and it prompted me to write an article about the things I learned during her passing. They are very similar to what you have said.

    The link is at http://www.skincarenaturals.com/makeamemorytoday.htm

    The final paragraph in her eulogy reads

    I look not only to the lessons she taught during her lifetime, there where far too many to list, but also the lessons she taught me in her struggle to live. In the end there is only one thing that matters, that is the love and caring that we have been blessed to give and honoured to receive. I hope with all my heart to be able to pass that very important lesson on to my own children. In my mind, that is the true measure of a successful life.

    take care,
    Janice

    Comment by Janice Ferrante — July 10, 2005 #

  5. It is with awe
    That I beheld
    Fresh leaves, green leaves,
    Bright in the sun.

    ` Basho

    Wonder, joy, passion, love, these are the emotions of truly successful humans. Cultivate them daily. Love thy self, build your capacity to truly love others with out condition every moment and remember that in many places the word for the divine is love.

    Sasha

    Comment by Sasha — July 10, 2005 #

  6. Hey Kacper,

    I really enjoyed your article. It reiterates the basic idea in a book I just read called “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz.

    Good Stuff… hope all is well with you.

    Give me a call sometime when you get a chance.

    Your Friend,

    -Joseph

    Comment by Joseph Lavery — July 10, 2005 #

  7. Kacper, I get so much email daily that I rarely read all of it, but for some reason, I was inclined to check out your blog. Wow, the article was really awesome! I’ll be printing it out to place in my overfilled dayrunner book, as a daily reminder of how I want to live. With my family and work and just life itself, I sometimes feel so overwhelmed maintaining this life (not to mention new goals which are always floating around in my mind) to stop and realize that life is in the moments. Like when my little girl is laughing or my yoga tree pose feels just right.
    Thanks for putting what part of me always knew into words.
    Jen

    Comment by Jen — July 10, 2005 #

  8. Congratulations on your blog, and especially on your mission, to write about what really matters in life.
    I enjoyed your reflections, especially when you pointed out that the path is not lost, we just don’t see it.
    “God” (by any name, after all, God is love) sustains and permeates every particle of existence. All we need do is learn to quiet down our own noise and learn to tune in to the right station.
    Thank you.
    Sincerely,
    Mary Martha

    Comment by Mary Martha Pazos — July 10, 2005 #

  9. Hey, Kacper. I just want to say thank you so very much for this blog. I’m lovin’ it. I’m a big believer in motivation and inspiration and you did just that. Congrats on the wonderful decision to start your own blog. I absolutely love blogs. You inspire me and I look forward to your many more blogs to come.It means a lot to me.You’ve made me stop and think. You have helped me greatly. Keep doin’ what you’re doin’. Thanks again.
    always honest,
    Jessica Britt

    Comment by Jessica Britt — July 10, 2005 #

  10. Hi Kacper,
    I am moved by your well-written blog. I always appreciate your sincerety in all your writings.
    It seems we humans always need to be reminded of things we should know. And this blog did just that for me today on the birthday of a dear loved one who crossed the bridge to another world last year. Instead of sorrow, I will feel love and give love today…and tomorrow….

    -Michael

    Comment by Michael — July 10, 2005 #

  11. What you have spoken is true..as humans *we* try to fill the void with “people/places or things” that in the end do not fullfill *us*..
    Always wanting “Something better”..Once *we* have reached *our* so called goals..*we* are Still left with the void deep inside which Nothing Can fill..Until *we* surrender to win,!
    What is Surrendering to win you may ask..?
    Surrendering to our innermost “selves” that *we* do Not have “the power” to fill the void..it’s Only when *we* surrender to something Much Greater than Our-selves that *we* are able to fill the void with pure Honest Love. Only then are *we* able to be open to giving & receiving
    *Pure unconditional Love*~Something that has Always been with *us*..but our minds have been too fogged with Other “people/places & Things” to receive & give *IT* away..Yes “It’s” Always been there..just waiting for *us* to surrender to *IT*..I Have Experienced This for myself..
    After many years chasing what i thought i needed to fill that void..after many years of hurt & anguish..i finnally decided to follow some simple suggestions passed down so freely..I Surrendered to *WIN* & i won *True Peace & LOVE* that no people/place or thing could Ever give *me*..i have come to beleive in a POWER GREATER than My-Self.
    My-Will..My-Self got me No-Where..as soon as i handed My-Will & My-Self over to the care of a Power Much Greater than *me* I was able to receive & give *IT* in abundance.
    I am so glad i came to youre “blog”!..
    as Jessica wrote..keep doing what youre doing ,
    I look forwards to getting to no you much better.
    I was Once Lost & Now Am Found.
    No Matter “What” happens *Love* Is All around..we just have to be Open to receiving *IT*..
    .~.live.~.love.~.&.~.laugh.~.
    Belinda

    Comment by Belinda — July 10, 2005 #

  12. I have similar feelings and can empathize with what you say Kacper.

    There are two things I remember:-
    My father told be above all else to retain a sense of humour and to laugh and enjoy life, even in the most desperate times, to smile.

    Second I have my own saying which goes like this:

    I am You
    You are Me
    We are He

    Where He could be She or whatever you believe in. I am not specifically into a religion. All I do is look around me to see the PROOF that something amazing and wonderful is happenning every moment of every day. For me, religion seems to cause more trouble than its worth. But looking at the REAL world, nature and forces that make the universe, well thats the real stuff for me. Did it appear by accident? I don’t think so! Does it require a church minister or a rabbi to tell us what the rules are to get into heaven? I don’t think so. We are already there - this is it! It is our choice to do what we will - to do the right thing. And the simplest word for that right thing - is Love.

    All it takes, like you say, is to make a space in that moment for you to step back and take a look and *appreciate* what you are part of.

    Jim

    Comment by Jim — July 11, 2005 #

  13. Hi
    Tks for a high level space. We need high feelings, thoughts and all help is more than welcome.
    I have added your space link in mine.
    I also blogget this article into my space, and of course referred to you as writter and to your site.
    I hope I help u to get more visits, as what u have inside to share is really valious.
    Best & sincere wishes (and thoughts)
    Kátia (a Brazillian in Portugal)

    Comment by Katia — July 12, 2005 #

  14. My dear brother Kacper,

    Accept my sincere Love and Affection from my deepest inner stomach. Great thing man it is great really great the one now the universe need it badly. Love love love deeply to give and recieve from each and every particles in and sorrouding you. What a thyme? Raise yourself to helf humankind. If we all follow to act upon this then our universe would SAY NO TO ” HATE ” and YES TO ” LOVE ” LOVE & ONLY LOVE MUST ELIMINATE & ERADICATE ALL THE BAD ILL FEELING AND WORST THINGS HAPPENING AROUND THE WORLD NOW A DAYS.
    WE WERE BORN TO LOVE ; LOVE TO LIVE AND FINALLY LOVE TO DIE.

    Please please keep posting more and more BLOGS to open many of our fellow human beings blind eyes by the grace of GOD.

    LOVE LOVE EMOTIONALLY YOURS, SAIT

    Comment by SAIT — July 13, 2005 #

  15. This article is true, and it allows us to nominalize the reason that we don’t totally ‘Let Love Absorb Us.’ Whether we call that reason ‘Fear,’ ‘Doubt,’ or ‘Self-Righteousness’ (my personal favorite), total-absorption seems risky and is thus avoided.

    Comment by MythMan J — July 13, 2005 #

  16. What a nice surprise to me when I ran into your article! Somehow I felt illuminated and happy to realize that this emptiness in my life could be transformed in joy and well-being if only I open my heart to love and be loved. God bless you.

    Comment by Florentino Gutierrez — July 16, 2005 #

  17. I had an interesting fortune cookie the other day:

    Life is a comedy for those who think,
    a tragedy for those who feel.

    Your business is doing well, why not take a few days and dedicate them to your new wife. You’ve had big changes and you’re a bit stressed. Racing thoughts, intrusive thoughts, that little voice inside telling you what to next, telling you to get up and do it NOW!

    But you’ll be ok soon, I’m sure.

    I think you’re on the right track about opening up. The world is full of scarey things that don’t have well thought-out processes. You want to tread into that world because you know it is filled with joy. Trust me, the joy is worth the occasional pain.

    Feel free to email if you want to talk. I’m a good listener and maybe I can give you some advice that is almost as good as the Powerful Sleep System.

    Comment by Leslie — July 17, 2005 #

  18. Hi Kacper,
    I find it interesting that I read your blog on love the morning after reading essentially the same thing from the volume 2 & 3 of Baird T. Spalding’s “Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East”. The message is timeless. We are love, We are Devine. Our job is only to recognize the fact of and learn to express our true nature. And, we can do it in an instant. It does not take a lot of time.

    Comment by David Carpenter — July 31, 2005 #

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